Let’s Talk About Sex

As a health care professional, working in the field of Whole Person Health, I have spoken to tens of thousands of individuals who were struggling with various health issues. My over 30 years of data gathering and treatment notes have made it clear to me that that one major aspect or component to an individual’s health and happiness lies in their sexual fulfillment.

This is generally a subject we don’t like to talk about because – yes, it’s complicated. Thirty years ago it was our sex lives that were private and the details were guarded and personal. Then, things changed. It became our finances or available wealth that became the number one thing we did not wish to share or divulge details about.

Mores have changed dramatically since the 1990s and today sexuality, in its many forms, are encouraged and considered completely acceptable between consenting adults. However, a vast number of adults struggle with achieving emotional and sexual fulfillment. There is a vast difference between a physical organism and experiencing sexual and emotional fulfillment. Our physical wellbeing is part of the overall outcome of having true sexual intimacy and fulfillment.

Today, print pornography and “sex toys” can be found in major store chains across the country, like Walmart and CVS . They are marketed under “health and wellness” products and are available everywhere. According to Psychology Today however, you cannot have physical intimacy without emotional intimacy and vis versa. This is important to understand if you are not experiencing either emotional of physical intimacy with your partner.

In many ways, modern sexuality has become recreational. We can swipe, call or text to have a sexual experience with no relationship involved.  While that can seem appealing for a period of time, the absence of intimacy takes its toll. According to Covenant Eyes research 1 in 5 mobile searches are for pornography. At any second of the day over 30,000 viewers are watching pornography and over $3,000 a second being spend on online pornography. These statistics do not include any other format of pornography viewing including purchased video, print or streaming formats.

“I have seen in my clinical experience that pornography damages the sexual performance of the viewers. Having spent so much time in unnatural sexual experiences with paper, celluloid and cyberspace, they seem to find it difficult to have sex with a real human being. Pornography is raising their expectation and demand for types and amounts of sexual experiences; at the same time it is reducing their ability to experience sex.”   Dr Mary Anne Layden, PhD.

If this subject resonates with your or someone you know, there are many books you can find on Amazon.com that address how to change or improve your experience of emotional and sexual intimacy.